Charleston Senior AdvisorWhat are the signs of caregiver burnout?
Constant fatigue, poor sleep, irritability or tears, dropping one's own doctor visits, withdrawing from friends, and feeling resentful or trapped are common signs, and they tend to arrive gradually.
Spouses caring for a husband or wife are especially likely to hide it. If the caregiver's health is slipping, the care arrangement is already failing, even if the person being cared for seems fine.
What respite options exist around Charleston?
Adult day care on weekdays, a few hours of in-home care each week, and short respite stays in a CRCF or nursing home are the main options; the Community Choices waiver can pay for respite for eligible Medicaid members.
The three counties have 10 DPH-licensed adult day care centers, licensed for 658 participants in all. Many assisted living communities offer furnished respite apartments for stays of a week or two, often used when the caregiver has surgery or a family trip. Ask whether a respite stay requires the same physical exam as an admission.
Where can a caregiver get support and training?
The Trident Area Agency on Aging's Family Caregiver Support Program (843-554-2275) helps caregivers in all three counties with information, assistance and respite support, and caregivers of people with dementia can call the Alzheimer's Association helpline at 1-800-272-3900 day or night.
Support groups meet at hospitals, churches and senior centers across the area. Even one meeting can provide practical tips, and permission to ask for help.
When is it time to move a parent despite promises?
When the caregiver's health is declining, when care is needed every night, or when safety depends on one exhausted person never making a mistake, moving to assisted living, memory care or a nursing home is the responsible choice.
Many caregivers once promised never to move a parent. Keeping a parent safe and well cared for honors that promise better than a breakdown does. Families often find that, after the move, they get to be a son, daughter or spouse again instead of a full-time aide.
How can families share the load among siblings?
Divide the work by what each person can actually do: the sibling nearby handles visits and appointments, a sibling far away takes on bills, insurance calls and benefit applications, and everyone contributes to paid respite if money allows.
Put the plan in writing and revisit it every few months, because needs change. A shared calendar and a single notebook or shared document for medications, appointments and contacts keep everyone working from the same facts. When one sibling carries most of the daily care, the others can protect that person's health by paying for regular respite hours or a weekend away.
Side by side
| Respite is | Respite is not | |
|---|---|---|
| Purpose | Planned rest that keeps care going longer | Giving up on caregiving |
| Form | Adult day care, in-home hours or a short stay | Only a nursing home placement |
| Payment | Private pay, Community Choices or VA benefits | Paid by Medicare as a rest break |
| Timing | Used before exhaustion | Saved for emergencies |
Sources: S.C. Code Regs. 60-84, DPH Healthcare Quality, SCDHHS bulletins and charts, CareScout, CMS and VA rate tables, as cited in each answer. See our editorial standards.
